A year ago, I went on a journey to get out of my head and into my heart.
The incubator was Paul Chek prescribing me 300 days of Tai Chi. I upped the challenge a bit and gave the practice a full year to ensure that I would learn whatever lesson I was meant to. Now, I am able to feel and remain grateful for all of my past and present experiences.
Not really sure what will come of this post... I wasn't willing to share on social media or write another blog for a full year until I knew that it was coming from a place of love. I do know that what was received from this experience may be the greatest lesson that anyone has provided. For that, I am forever grateful.
Now I have a clearer vision of what I am consciously creating in my life. Nevertheless, I don't claim to be any kind of expert in the ancient art of Tai Chi, merely a student sharing my experience.
Upon focusing on my daily belly breaths (per Paul’s instruction), I realized that it was extremely difficult for me to breath through my left side rib-cage. My NUCCA chiropractor, whom also works in adjusting extremities found that I had 8 ribs out of place, likewise we realized that my left-side abdominal wall had atrophied.
I intuitively felt the need to massage my diaphragm; it was as hard as a lacrosse ball. My body experienced a major detox once my belly and diaphragm become soft to the touch again.
Intuitively I know that I have a partially collapsed left lung with a bacterial infection. I go to salt spas as well as breath in sea salt water from a humidifier to regain full function and start to heal the left lung.
Begin to notice my left-side begin to respond to breath and regain some functionality.
I realize that my left nostril is consistently congested due to scar tissue left by having my adenoids taken out as a child.
I consciously gain a deeper understanding of how issues with abandonment in my early development are playing out in my life and relationships.
I remain focused on my breathing through each Tai Chi movements to activate my right brain hemisphere to communicate with the left side of my body.
Constantly speaking compassionately to the child in me that experienced abuse and abandonment.
I set the intention for all of my immediate family members to spend time together as a family.
I begin to realize how much I have not allowed myself to feel.
Through meditation I tap into my innate wisdom thats telling me to always consider what another is capable of understanding. Unconditional love shows me how to begin to provide peace to myself and others; I cried for the first time in years.
I cried from happiness for the first time in my life.
I realized that I am a teacher at heart.
I no longer associate with Sports and Performance Psychology as I am a Mind-Body healer.
I am able to feel my breath with the flow of my heart meridians.
I no longer wish to be affiliated with traditional healthcare organizations as I am building my own team of loving and compassionate leaders.
I do not renew my professional licensure as I will not allow a 3rd party, either insurance companies or certifying bodies to dictate my level of care or teachings for healing both the mind & body.
I started doing massage on a large scar on the back of my head, which has begun to release the fascia in that area for better flow of cerebral spinal fluid and activation of nerves and awareness throughout my entire body.
I start to feel a resounding “YES” warm my heart or “No” in my stomach for questions about life.
I realize that I cannot feel each quadriceps muscle where my quadricep (left-side) was reattached with donor tendon. I have deep acupuncture performed to activate as well as release muscles and tendons that have been constricted with calcium deposits for more than a decade. The experience is so intense that I am still adjusting to muscles being activated throughout the left side body and surrounding my left-side of the sacrum.
I am no longer able to keep my phone in my left pocket as I am sensitive to the electromagnetic (EMF) waves against my thigh; even with EMF technology to lesson electromagnetic frequencies.
For the first time in my life I do not recall a conversation verbatim. I only recalled the way that I “felt” during the conversation.
I focus on my left-side abdominal wall that has been turned off and the muscles that are not responding to core training. Acupuncture allowed the activation of the fascia surrounding my heart to bring about emotions that can only be described as overwhelming.
After my left abdominal wall was turned back on from acupuncture I am able to feel all the stabilizer muscles along my left shoulder girdle turn back on as well. This allows for a deeper understanding for how to rehabilitate my left shoulder after two shoulder surgeries to that side.
I realize that I still have physical and emotional pain that I have suppressed after experiencing sexual abuse from someone outside of the home when I was a child.
I allow myself to feel the pain of being manipulated and used sexually as a child. I see how this experience closed me off from others, I had turned emotionally numb for many years and chose football as a means for violence to cope with my anger.
I begin to have profound compassion for my life experience and the pain of others.
I have more compassion for my parents sending me to Military Academy at the age of 12. They did not know why I was acting out in anger.
I begin to write a children’s book of my life experiences. The character is a frog named Mud that takes the reader on a journey toward self-love and self-acceptance.
I realize that both my eyes are not working together when reading, so I begin to do Paul Chek’s eye exercises to strengthen and synchronize eye movements.
I distance myself from relationships that do not reflect the love I have for myself. My fear of abandonment has allowed these types of relationships in my life.
I become infatuated with feeling everything both physically and emotionally.
I am ready to share with the world the 1st & 2nd level teachings of my curriculum for Dr. Judd Institute.
I will always start each day with Tai Chi. This form of meditation is my way of providing myself with love and creating the life of my dreams.
“If you don’t have time in your day for 20 minutes of Tai Chi, then take 40 minutes.” Paul Chek
For the first hundred days of this practice I was less than thrilled to carve out 20 minutes of my day to this complete unknown. When you witness a powerful alfa such as Paul talking about self-love and loving each other you become attuned to one simple question from those that give instruction, “Are you living what you teach?” Based on the instructor and the life that he leads I was willing to embrace this challenge, which has forever changed my life for the better.
There is much to learn about life that is not being taught in traditional educational settings and if the intent is to heal and grow from adversity, then we must be willing to look within. Within ourselves is the greatest teacher we will ever know. From my experience teachers must be willing to expose their lives to criticism and disbelief because this authentic place allows wounds to finally have air to breath and heal for what they are, opportunities of growth for yourself and others.
The lifestyle that I have chosen to lead is a reflection of the change that I want to see in this world and I invite you to join me on this journey.
To greater health!